Saturday, 19 March 2011

WHY ON EARTH

DID I NEVER WATCH SUGAR RUSH WHEN IT WAS ON TV?! Fit men, and the women aren't too bad either aha.

Fitness Update Tiiiiimmmmeee

wow, just seen that even though I had that MASSIVE chinese takeaway last night, because I did lots of exercise yesterday... I actually didn't go over my calorie intake. WHOOP WIN!


Also, I just almost blinded myself in the middle of doing aerobics because of a wayward thumb. And, I've just sat down and my knee kind of locked and so I fell flat on my face. FML.


But oh well, it's all so I can be a gorgeous hunk of man meat again :D

Who needs a boyfriend when you have Chinese food?

So, Comic Relief 2011?

Best one I have ever seen I think.


All the VTs made me sob, and I mean it - I actually SOBBED, so much so that by about half 11 my throat was killing me. Although I did not appreciate David Tennant telling me I was a knob, even though I did donate £25.


Smithy's skit was AMAZING, and Miranda was on top for yet again! It's kind of blurred into one for now (had a bit of vino) so expect a better analysis tomorrow :)

Friday, 18 March 2011

I'm going to be naughty tonight

and order myself a Chinese. I think I've deserved it, and I want a quiet night in anyway :)
Yes it won't help with the weight loss, but I lost 5.5lbs last week so as long as I lose at least 1lb this week I'll be happy!

Reading about Bigfoot.

Just cos I can. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigfoot
Five things you will find if you open my bag: 
1. Two of those plastic ring things that hold four been cans together.
2. An opened pack of Jempo Plus tissues, of which I have used none and some random bitch when I went to university had one cos she was dribbling down herself.
3. A receipt totalling £17.12 but it doesn't tell me what it is for.
4. A Christmas card from a friend which I've only just this second opened.
5. An empty condom wrapped. Durex of course.

Five things in my bedroom: 
1. A stolen massive can of Tresemme hair spray. Gutted Charlotte.
2. A 4 year old sturdy tube of toothpaste that I pretend is a microphone when I'm acting out being Lady GaGa.
3. My Legotorch keyring, which is also attached to my keys.
4. An empty bottle of Grappa, my mum won't let me throw the bottle away cos she brought it in Rome.
5. A letter from Google telling me to spend my £50 AdWords voucher or die.

Five things I’ve always wanted to do in my life: 
1. Have a black boyfriend.
2. Write a book.
3. See every fit straight guy I know NEKKID. 
4. Be toned.
5. Get a tattoo.

Five things that make me very happy: 
1. Alcamafrroooolllll.
2. Cheese.
3. Willy.
4. Cowpat Charlee.
5. When mother tidies my room for me unexpectedly

Five things I’m currently into: 
1. Masterbation.
2. Blogging.
3. Weight Loss.
4. Prawns.
5. Money.

Five things on my to-do list: 
1. Have a wank.
2. Get some dosh.
3. Get a black boyfriend.
4. Sleep with black boyfriend.
5. Get black boyfriend to go "OHHHH HELLL TO THE NAW."

Five things some people may or may not know about you: 
1. My dick is only three inches. From the ground.
2. I wish I was more arty.
3. I desperately want to be rich.
4. I am addicted to Pasta n' Sauce.
5. I like men.

This is what I looked like for my first day of work. Fat and overdressed (look at the apparent size of my fingers! Imagine if I slipped one of them inside you? It'd be like sitting on Tyra Bank's forehead) no wonder none of the octogenarians wanted to ram raid my supple bum’ole in the toilets.
(just kidding, I’m staff, I get to use the fancy toilet with the tumble dryer near it so when you’re having a poo you can rest your head on it and just have your faeces shaken out of you)

Oh yeah, and before I forget

Steve and I broke up last weekend. Been a bummer. But now I can focus on being a slut and learning how to knit forever alone wanking aides. 

also got a (very) part-time job today

I am now a barman at a golf club. Most of the guys are very old and obviously hate my hair cut, but there are 2 really fit boys even though one has 90s boyband hair.

got my new webcam today.

gonna be showing some diiiiiiiiick. 

Saturday, 26 February 2011

what's the best sex you've ever had?

Best sex? Male.

Ask me anything

What was the worst movie you've ever seen?

Eragon. absolute drivel.

Ask me anything

Do you believe there's intelligent life on other planets?

Well it's gotta be more intelligent than most of the people on Earth.

Ask me anything

What was your worst travel experience?

When I rode your mum.

Ask me anything

What was the best advice you've ever received?

Don't have that extra drink.

Ask me anything

Who's the sexiest woman alive?

Me. If I had a vagina.

Ask me anything

Will you be my Valentine? <3 (yes, I'm aware this is anon, aren't Valentine's meant to be?)

No, maybe when we were in primary school.

Ask me anything

Do you eat the crust on sliced bread? Do you perhaps even enjoy the crust best?

The crust is good, especially if it's a cracked black pepper loaf :D

Ask me anything

Question to all my followers: who'll be my Valentine? *wallows in the deafening silence*

Tis too late for a valentine, and valentine's is overrated. Even for me, who is in a relationship.

Ask me anything

Ok so I have a crush on U.. I made a profile at this site www.j.mp/eMAup8 go there sign up and search for CarloBeecroft and guess who I am

Alright then spammer, I will definitely do this and not expect porn spam or a virus on my computer :D

Ask me anything

Hide your name and go onto my profile and write what you think about me (or don't, it's up to you) and ask me a question, send this to all your contacts and see what you get.. this shall be a laugh.

No I will not do this.

Ask me anything

have you ever thrown a shoe ?

Not to my knowledge.

Ask me anything

who was the last person you kissed? (answer honestly)

My boyfriend.

Ask me anything

Opinion on Aurelias Clothing?

Oh hello Ben, never really looked at it, I am going to assume it is very much like Livid Thorn clothing though, and therefore I'd probably like it.

Ask me anything

If you had to legally change your name, what would you change it to?

Sexy Bitch You-Know-YouWant-Me Esq.

Ask me anything

Friday, 14 January 2011

wot u saying about no-one liking you in the last couple of hours or so?

well they either dont want to talk to me about it because it's too personal, or i am not good enough friends with them, or I am a back stabbing bitch or they are too above my level to talk to me now, like many of the convos i started but tried to contain today. what a joke they were. goodnight to all of them!

Ask me anything

how many people have you slept with?

22

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Ask me anything, honestly anything and I will answer it http://formspring.me/CarloBeecroft